It's today!

I woke up... Now on my way to the airport!

See you later honey! We'll sleep together tonight! <3<3<3

LOVE YOU!

Almost there...

TWO!!! TWO simple days and I'm there! With you, my love!!

Can't wait to hold you again in my arms, to be in the bed hazing like we used to do at the hotel, hugging you, kissing you, laughing and babbling... I really love you...

I'll leave home around 3.30, to be in Porto at 4.30, the plane is at 6.25, all this is a.m. hour, I'll arrive Frankfurt at 10.10, German time... I really hope i don't get lost there ^^' I've seen their website, and they are BIG! You know that if you wanna change terminal you have to go by subway? How wicked is it?
Anyway i have around 4 hours to do what i wanna, they have a lot of stores so i just might walk around and see stuff... I gotta eat something too...
I'll leave Germany at 14.05, please send me a text at 13.15.... hum... by your time will be at 14.15, i don't wanna risk forgetting what time is it. ^^

I don't travel for such a long time, and i must admit that flying is not very comfortable for me... Anyway, i don't mind x)

I'll arrive Helsinki at 17.30, i wanna HUG you!!!! I'll be so lost... That I'll probably don't recognize anyone, cause I'll be looking... But... Not seeing anything, so... Attack me :'D
Oh, and remind me to call my parents... I mean i might be so excited that i may just forget x)

And then... Your parents... I'll meet them for the first time in my life... Oh gods! xD
But... Anything for you my love...

I hope they don't lose my luggage... :'D

I love you, my honey! :3

<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Imagine me and you...

...in our own little apartment, with our perfect little family. :3 Just us and our little baby guys. I neeeeeeeed to be with you there! Think if we get to move there together in the end of next month.. It's like sooo soon! And we can see together how the spring goes on and soon it's summer.. x3 I... so... wanna see Portugal in the summer. And you... my own little perfect piece of Portugal... ^^'

I'm cleaning the closet! And you know, the first thing there is is your bag... ^^' I still have to empty one of the shelves for you.. o.ö I dunno which one.. x/ Cos I kinda need the clothes there... Well, I'll figure that out when it's like a few days till you're here ( it already is!!! only one week!! )

I love you<3

...and that's all. ^^'

I try to be perfect for you...

I never really cared to look good, or to be perfect for someone... I do for you... I try to be perfect, amazing boyfriend, i can't sometimes, cause I'm not perfect... But i try...

I know that sometimes i might seem passive, like in this apartment stuff... But... OK, I'll tell you every time I'm looking for them, but usually i do it when we are not talking, then if nothing interesting comes up i forget... But... I promise I'll only look for apartments when we are talking... I'm also serious about this... I really wanna move with you, i only wish i had so much more money, things would get so much more easy, but this wont stop us for finding a perfect first place for us...

Living together with the girl i love... I can't really believe that it WILL happen ^^ and not that far... It will be soon... What is the feeling of going home to be with the one i love? It must be so amazing! Waiting to arrive that time of the day where we'll both be at home and... We can be there for each other... Gosh... I really love you!
You know i think we already had a little of "home", when you were at the hotel and i was at work and you were there... Waiting for me :3 So amazingly great! Too bad you were a bit sick :( When you are sick it's like... I wanna get sick too... And be there feeling the same thing as you so you don't feel lonely... But... Even if i'm sick too, I'll always care for you, and cook for you, and giving you bath, and stuff like that ^^'

You are eveything to me... You are my heart... I love you my little princess!

All through your life
I'll be by your side
Till death do us part
Baby, I'll be yours
My love will never end
Till death do us part

There'll be good times
And there'll be bad
But I will stand beside you woman
All the way
And through the years
As life will put us through
When snow will fall on winter nights
I'll keep you warm inside

8 days... 8 days and i'll be there... to spend 4 whole days with you!! Plus the evening of the 19th ^^'
I'll so cry at the airport ^^' Silly boy...

But... For you... i don't hide my feelings... That night in the hotel, was like... the first time i cryed so much in front of someone... It was quite a show, huh? ^^' It just wouldn't stop xD I was like thinking to myself... "Stop you stupid asshole, fucking mooron" xD

But despite all...

Life's worth living... Cause you exist, and cause we exist as "us"

I love you so much! <3<3<3<3

My litttle princess ^^'

I'm your Nelly Bear... You are safe with me...

Hun...
I understand that sometimes you get all sad and down, it's normal, i get that too... You miss me, you need me, i understand all that cause... I feel the same everyday...

You have afraid to fall... Don't! You are safe with me... And... We are strong, we have to carry on, cause it will be worth it... We are in love we are immortal together...
And i wont let you fall...
We need each other...

I love you my little beautiful, honey princess...

I'm so scared when i see you down like that... I get so afraid... I dunno what to write more... Just... Don't fall... you are safe with me... I love you so much... You mean everything to me... You are my world...

I wanna marry you..

I'm so in love with you..
I listened to this song this morning, and it's been playing on and on in my head all day. I... I was gonna write more but I forgot what it was... Anyways, I think this pretty much sums up all I had to say...

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

If I should call you up, invest a dime
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine
So happy together

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue
For all my life

Me and you and you and me
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be
The only one for me is you, and you for me
So happy together

I can't sleep..

I can't sleep... You are probably having the princess sleeping beauty... But i can't sleep...
I just miss you so much, your touch, your smell, your amazing kiss... I miss you... I would like to skip this few months and have you here for good... And then i would like to skip again the studies time and have you here for good... And start our life for good...
Before i went to bed today my dad came to me to talk about the suitcase i'm gonna take it there, i still haven't bought one... And the one i have is sucky! Then he interrupted that subject and asked me... "Did you ever felt this for someone? I can see in your eyes that she's the one..."
I tried to hold my tears in and said something like "Let's put it this way... You need water and sun to live right? Well... She's my water, my sun, my everything... I love her, and she loves me... The future is us..." Then i went to bed.

Can you immagine? My curiosity about your country made me talk to you... To a person i didn't knew... I don't do that often, i don't do it at all, but i had the courage to start talking to you..
Since i was like... 16 me and my friend also Nelson dreamed on making a trip together to Finland i don't remember the reasons quite well, but i remember that one of the reasons was the snow... We even started to look for cheap flights, but then suddently we stop talking and we moved to different classes so, we didn't talk more... But my passion for Finland carried on... And now... Cause of that passion i'll live with a finnish girl for the rest of my life... Even living in here, i want to visit Finland a lot... Promisse me you'll wanna visit your country too, a lot ok?

But... When i started talking to you, and getting to know you better the passion for the country was not anymore a important thing, cause someone more was growing... I started to love you... And... Feeling things i never felt before...
You made me wanna life intensibly again, you have saved me, my little snow flower...
Life's worth living with you ^^

I wanna kiss you, hug you, pet you, pet your eyebrows, your back, your... soft skin... I love you and i miss you...
That's why i'll live that four whole days at max. I'll life them like there's no life tomorrow... I LOVE YOU!

I wonder how i'll react at the airport, when i get to hug you again... I can just hug you, i can start to cry without stoping like in the other night when we were at the hotel... I can react in some many different ways... So be prepared...
I'll be so lost, that's a sure... I might be blind and not see anyone... Just attack me if i feel lost ^^'

Don't mind me if i don't react that well with your parents, or if i'm just too quiet if i'm with them... It's just my way... I'm shy...

Uh... I'm bleeding through my nose, this is sooooooo unpleseant :/

Healed now... at least doesn't taste like blood anymore...

Gosh, i should go to bed... Tomorrow i have a lot of work to do... There's a new season of labels to make, and we have to make samples for the new season, it's a hard time, and i'll skip some few work days to go there, so i really have a lot to do :/
But well... i had to write this...

21 days...

Yeah, 21 days... Our number...

It's close already, not as close as i would have wanted, but it's close...
I'm nervous, i must admit, more than i would imagine... I'm realllllly nervous ^^'

Meeting your parents... Your mum and dad... Well, from what i know they seem to be pretty cool, but i'm really nervous about meeting them...
Your mum... She sounded a bit too serious, or even harsh, when we talked on the phone, but i kinda felt safe on her words, and the nice text she wrote me after my text in new years kinda made me feel like part of the family.
Your dad... I don't know that much about him, and he wants to take me to sauna... And... If he says something and you are not there to rescue me? If he talks like... things? :'D But he's a nice guy, right? ^^'
And your brother? Ville?? Well... Probably i wont talk to him... But... I hope he doesn't look at me like a stranger...

The worst part is that they'll be at home a loooooooooot x) can't you kick them out?? ^^'

I wanna visit your school... I want to visit Mäntsälä... I want you to show me your place near the train thingy... I wanna see it all, i wanna see it all with you :3

I hope you'll have the perfect night at Huili, reservation for 2 at... 16.00? :'D
That's dinner to you, but it's lunch to me! But i hope, we'll have the perfect day!

I so wanna be there, with you!!!!!! The public hugs just to annoy people! :3 Can i hug you at your school? ^^'

And hun... Mark me up... ^^'

just missing you, as usual...

21!!
It's our number, huh? ^^' And guess who's coming to Finland after only 21 DAYS? You!! That's exactly 3 weeks! YAY!! x)

Erhm... ^^'
I can't wait till you're here, honey.. It's like... Now I actually look forward to have those listening comprehension parts for all the finals I'll have, cos I know, that only one week from that, you're here, with me.. And we can be together again, finally..!
And even tho it's only for a few days, my love, I know it's worth it. It always is, isn't it? To talk, to see that you're there, even tho it's only fights and mean words. Like you said yourself, it's only cos we miss each other so much.

I hate to fight with you, I so do... Tho sometimes it's just fun.. x) Think hun, when we live together there and we'll have these stupid little arguments, it's gonna be so much easier... You know how to piss me off, but I know that when you're right next to me, I have no reason to be mad at you. I love you...

You know I'm afraid of moving there. But I dont want you to ever think that I'd have any doubts about it, honey! When I was there, for that week in December, I felt like I was finally home. It's a weird feeling... I just felt so in peace with myself, you know? I hope you could feel the same when you come here, but... I cant really say that I'd be sure you do. Your home is there, just like mine is. Maybe at some point we have a little change of heart and feel the need to move here. I wouldn't mind. But for now... Even if I decide to come here to study, It's only temporary for me. My life is in Portugal now. Cos sweetie... YOU are in Portugal. You're my Portugal...^^'

( My first thingy on our blog.. nhih! ^^' I'm so sure this makes you more than happy, huh? )

Overly unactive...

I hate to do exercise... I really do...
I know i had a overly active life, but now... I just wanna be sited, and talk to youuuuuuuu...
Yeah, i know you are bored all the time and you would like to do something... But I'm not like that... Not anymore at least... Maybe cause i had enough of my going outs and i just wanna settle now... And... With youuuuuuuuuuu...
But maybe it's just a phase and i begin to be more active again and going out or something... Thought i doubt it...

As you know i used to play football... I was never home... In fact to be honest i almost didn't had a home, just went there to sleep, and i got enough of it.

I can't live without exercise, my body got so used to that, and now i have to go to gym, otherwise I'll be all... Weird... And besides I've promised you i would be more fit when I'm in there, and not get tired so easily.

One thing's for sure i wont sleep all that much when I'm there, i don't have work, so it will be much more easy, and we don't have the Xmas stress, so... I really hope it will be some non stressing days... Tho... There's nothing relaxing about meting your people, and the fact they all talk english wont help all that much...

I miss football... You know i do... But i had to leave it, wouldn't be fair to spend all weekends out and not be able to talk to you (and maybe that's why sometimes i get upset when you say you going out, i go out too but... you know what i mean) besides the trainings... I had to leave it... But gosh! I miss it... I love to run, i love to play with passion and rough... I must admit... I even feel some pleasure when i got red cards...

But now... I only want to be active with you, for you...

Just few words...

Just a phrase... My feeling summed...

I love you my little princess...

20th December, 2008

I've never writed about this day... Probably one of the best ones of my entire life...

20th December, 2008

9.30... I woke up, you've made be online cause you'd be very nervous, and you really were.
It was sooooooo difficult for me to wake up, you know that at the previous night i had that party, the company party, and i went to bed at 4.00, so i just wanted to rest, cause i would have a long trip ahead of me, and you know it's long trip, we've made it twice together.
You really were nervous...
We talked till you had to go to the airport... It was a great conversation, at least i've felt a bit more... Calm...
"See you later then"

I went to prepare myself for the upcoming week, i packed my bag prepared my laptop and i was realy to go and buy the last goods...
I went to shower... While i was showering Tony called "Are you nervous man?" "Yeah..." "Don't be... It's gonna be ok, i know it" - He was right...
Then i went to the hotel, i went to do the check-in room 215... Although we had to change it later to 225? Was it?

Loading the car with fuel... Text... "Oh... Now i'm all on my own here... I feel sooo lost... o.o gods, this is so weird, i'm like really coming there... Soon.. O.O i love you, honey..."

Went home, car was ready, bags too, good for the trip also, money and gps all set... In the next 5 hours i couldn't contact you...



I lunched... Went to the car and start driving, i was ahead of schedule so i drove calmly, but i was soooooooooo nervous, i've stoped like 4 times on the rest-stop...
In the moment I've seen the sign "Lisboa 50km" i was like "O.o oh my god, it's 17.30... 2hours... so close" But strangely i felt more calm, this calmness lasted till the moment i entered the airport...
I parked the car...

"Helsinki - Arrivel time 19.25" - It's so close... It's 19.15 already...
"Helsinki - Landed 19.26" O.o

Text "I just got my case from the line and i have absolutely no idea what i should do now... I'm so in panic"
Awnser "Just... follow the people"
Text "But... These people are going everywhere!"

Ok, at this moment i called you...

"-Hey
-Hi...
-So... i can't go in there... You have to come here...
-I'm sitted on the suitcase, this is so heavy
-You have to cross the green door...
-I see two doors...
-Wait... I'll ask the lady what you should do... I'll call you soon"

"-Hey...
-Hi...
-The lady said the only thing you have to do is come through this door...
-OK... Ugh! This is heavy... Uf...
-OK, I'm seeing you already... Turn right... Your right... I'll meet you at the end... See ya"

Then... the moment i'll never forget... You were there... So... beautiful, with those beautiful eyes... You looked so lost... I got near you "Hi"... We huged... With a hug that lasted for like 5 minutes, all the people staring at us...
We touched our lips...

"We can give hands..."

I carried your suitcase, gods it was heavy, you were right... You texted your mum...

And we looked for the place were i parked the car.. You know i always get so lost... I never know were i park...
Trip... A non-awkard silence... So beautiful sound of you when you breath... Sound of you playing with the piercing... So cute ^^

After the quick visit to my parents, were you almost faint we went to the hotel...

"Can i kiss you? ^^'" We kiss almost a kiss with no end... and then we hug and cuddle... For so long...

From that moment on... We were sure...

Forever, princess...

I'm so... Yours....

Well... This is a short entry... But just to say this...

I'm so in love with you, i'll be forever yours...
I've found in your heart a place for me... Now... It's our heart...
You can count on me to help you when you're down, to take your fears away.

I can't wait to fall asleep and wake up again on your side... Less then one month, and you'll have me there...

I'm so yours... You so own me...

Yours forever,
Nelly bear...

You are so amazing...

You are just so amazing i get no words...

What could i possibly want more?
You are amazing, great!
Funny, caring, loving, tender, loyal, beautiful, warm, tasteful, simple yet complex ^^', petite, smart, graceful, i dunno... So many good things on you...

I love you, you are so great! And you are miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine ^^'

You are making a scarf for me ^^' that's so cute, nobody have done that for me before... I love everything you give me...
And that scarf, i'll use it always (In the winter, of course)

Well... honey bee... I love you!!!! :3

^^'

And you know i wont never color my hair, honey... So... that means forever... My stuffy little thingy! ^^'

Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday honey!

I know you don't care much about your birthday, but hey, it's you... so it's always important for me at least...

Anyway, 19 years old... We both know ages for us don't matter, we act likes kids anyways, and it's gonna be always like this, huh? ^^'
Able to be serious when we really need, but... We choose the kiddish way, and it's great! xD

Well... I hope you like my gifts, you don't have to like them, or pretend you liked them just to please me, and it's not something you need... But i think they are pretty so that's a match with you...

Honey... Since long time ago...

I've asked myself what would my life be without you..
And since that, i want you, i love you, i adore you and i want you again...

Till the day i dye, you can count on me...

I want it now!

It's a fact that every human beeing lives in the present with the future in mind, also a fact that we think about the future when it looks like it will be great...

Well, i was never one of those persons, i always was thinking about the present trying to make one day at a time, but without thinking about the future, cause in the past my future seemed so dark and unhappy, well... It's different now...
Truth that i'm still trying to survive every each day and hopefully going to bed and sleep without any concern, sometimes that is just not possible, but now and all of a sudden my future seems so good and bright...

The click happened and now it all makes more sense to me, we'll move, we'll have our home, eventhough you don't know anything about portuguese, well, you wont need it ^^ eventhough we are so poor, but we'll live together, and happy, and that's our future, that's what we want, and after we are together we'll live our days like they were the last of our life, but always thinking about the future, cause we are immortal together... Confusing? Huh? ^^

Well... All this to say one simple thing... My next future will be 19/02... Till that day i'll enter in autopilot mode when i'm not talking with you, cause... You are all i live for... I can't wait for it, and time goes so slow when we want it to run...

Yours...

I'm living for you... Only for you...

I had the best Christmas time of my life... Not that i like Christmas, not that it's my favourite time of the year, but... This year was diferent... This year i had the person of my life with me... And now i'm engaged... Yeah... people that know me might think that i'm crazy... I'm not! Never been so sure of one thing in my life...
What can i say? She's perfect! I'm engaged! We will marry, we have no doubts, even our families agree... It's so much easier this way...

And... She's perfect!!!

We have the rings already x)
We've spend a great week together! In February i'll go there to meet her family ^^' I'm so nervous about it... But i don't mind, it's my girlfriend family, so it's my family too ^^'

She's perfect...

Deeeeeeeeeply in Love...

I'm deeply in love...

I've fallen for you, so deply, i'm so into you... that now... My life depends on you...
I know you feel the same... And that makes me so happy, never thought this kind of feeling could ever been felt by someone... But it can... And i'm feeling it now...

I love you Viivi...

I miss so much your touch, your smell, your hand holding mine, your lips, your voice, your way of looking, your laughs... I even miss the snowman ^^'

Honey? I love you! I always and forever will...

We are far away from each other... But, i'm sure about the future... The future is us...
As i've told you in the calls i've made to you on New Years, 2009 will be our year, we'll move and we'll start on living together, you own my heart. I'm yours...

I love you, honey <3

III

Well, did you ever have this "I'll do this so much better than anything" kind of felling? This was just a question...

Today was a nice day... Had fun during
the day, yes, cause i have fun at work, i'm not only those kind of
person that is waiting for the hour to leave, i just like to work, i do
it with pleasure, and this way i can sleep in the night never worring
about work... Things that don't usually let me sleep at night are: my
hypocondriasis, and lack of sex... Yes... Why not to say if it's true?
Lack of sex makes you not be able to sleep at night...

Moving forward...

Although it was a fun day i felt very
tired, i usually only sleep 4 hours per day, this last night i slept
for 5 hours, i guess when i oversleep i get tired and tired...

So, when i looked at the watch was
already 18.20 i had to leave work quickly, and high speed by car to the
gym... This is one thing that sometimes i dream about... High speed car
accident, you know... I guess it's just in my nature, i walk fast, i
run or runned fast... i just don't like to lose time...

Then this girl of the gym... She
looked at me all the time... i was on the bikes, and she just stared at
me... I paused my exercise and when to her... told her... "Sorry to ask
you this... But... You know... It's possible not to stare at me? I
would understand if i was a pretty boy, but i'm not that special" She
replyed... "Until you do not accept to go out with me, i'll not stop
this harassement! I'll win you by force if i have to! By the way you
look hot when sweting" Never heard this kind of words on a sober
girl... Well, but now it's a matter of honer, i'll not cave, and she
will not win me xD

Now i'm at home... writing with my russian friend...